Life is Loose.

A poem.

My life is loose.
The ends are untied.
My heart is in a noose.
My emotions unidentified.

I need to know that you're on board.
I need to know you care.
You'll be whom I walk toward,
Even when no ones there.

Please tell me your listening.
Tell me you see.
Do you hear me crying?
Please, save me.

I know you can see the tears.
I know you see the emptiness.
You'll grab all of my fears,
And cast them to the darkness.

Dear love of mine, take control.
Give me a vice.
Give me back a soul.
Any joy will suffice.

Reviews

Great write Syd .... really a great one .. just one suggestion from this ROCD plagued critic , the following line :
I know you see the emptiness.
can be changed to :
and the emptiness
for an even smoother flow.
A 90+ from me for this great poem .

[Dilan Gray]

This is a great poem! I love the line "My heart is in a noose." The image was just so powerful! You really express emotions strongly in this poem and it is wonderful! Great job!

[Nat.]

This sooo good I think this is my favorite one of your poems I have read so far. And probably the best one I've read yet on this site! I love it :)

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

This is a wonderful poem and I believe the edits that were recommended are great. You have a whole life ahead of you and you are a remarkable person. Great Job!

[trainwreck]

Awesome little write here. I love it! :D

[Coyote Poetry]

"My life is loose.
The ends are untied.
My heart is in a noose.
My emotions unidentified."
I like the strong story in the poem. The flow and poem was very good.
A very good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Somer]

Awe! This flowed very nicley! I loved it! It was a great read, and very well written. Good job! :) The first paragraph was the best, it pulled me right in!