Carry Me

My girlfriend has to snap me back to reality once her love pulls me away...

"As I wait - patiently, I could read between the lines"

     I could see your eyes swim laps,
     pondering what I would do next:
        
            --lip-locked ecstasy all in a single monologue
                               and I drown with your passionate soul.

      ...Carry me away...

"Lie with me and just forget the world"

     Your chest rises with each breath,
     pushing your heart into mine:

           --fingertips pirouette a web down my body
                               and I float with your soft touch.

      ...Carry me away...

Author's Note

Critique encouraged!

Reviews

[Lauren Burch]

Dreamy.

--lip-locked ecstasy all in a single monologue
and I drown with your passionate soul.
that line was really the only one that bothered my. When you say you drown 'with' the soul, do you mean 'in' 'your passionate soul'? It may just be me, but it doesn't comprehend to drown with her soul if you were just talking about being carried away by her love.
powerful poem with enticing words.

May just be a finalist in the ''It's Uncanny. . .this love!" contest. Wishing the best of luck! :)

-Lauren Burch

[The Viking]

Reminds me of when my beloved and I got together - how poetry came to mind in a single touch. Very romantic, well written as well. There have been thousands of romantic poems written, but this sounds in no way cliche. The style of the poem adds to the power of each verse.

[Jd Young]

I agree. This piece, for being so short, it's so powerful. It reminds me of that love at first site feeling. I love th emotion and the integrity. It's beautiful.

[Ani Ashford]

(swoon) This is such a sensual, powerful piece. I almost feel as though being drawn into someone's eyes and swept away with the moments. Ahhhh... to be young again! (or in new love)