It's a trip

Crazy Dream

It's a poem or a story or something. Just a wild dream I had that I want to put into words.

Once,
I dreamt of pink elephants
defeated by
A midnight crusade
During a storm
bringing down stone and lightening.

Through the catastrophe,
Everything seemed to come alive.
That's when antifreeze was confused with water
turning the ocean to a psychedelic abyss.


It amazed me how
the moon spun cartwheels
As the stars faded in envy.
The creatures gazed in amazement
And the joker laughed and laughed.

Nothing nearly as stunning occured
when the king held court.
As this creation was that of the jester
Set forth from the magic stick
Stolen from the sorcerer.

That sorcerer…
The one who danced with the devil
But adored the angels,
Extracted this magic
From the lost fountain of everlasting bliss.
The world was left
To misery
And heartache.

Somewhere...
In a fragile bubble
Is the place of hope.
Sent as a wish from the gods

Lost to the chaos.

But who cares...
About the gleam that's left the eye,
Or that pitch of laughter,

That will never be heard again
Or tears that create the storms.

Reviews

[Green Regol]

The first line made me cringe because, at first glance, I thought it was part of the poem. Never explain yourself in the body of your work - do that in the author's notes section.

That aside, I like this. I think it can do without the last two ellipses, but that's just my opinion. It all has a nice flow and great imagery. Great job in portraying a dream - it felt like I was in it.

[Tamme]

I haven't been here in a while, but that first line wasn't intend to be part of the poem. Writer's Cafe, a bunch of years ago, had deleted everyone's work. On accident of course. To get back things I created on here that I didn't save on my hard drive, I had to use Google Chache. I just copied and pasted a lot of stuff. That line was in my notes.

Thank you for reading.