Song of Liberty

I cannot define, whether this lines fall appropriately in the structured form of Poetry ... rather this can be expressions .... feelings ..

 

This unraveled earth …

                         Craving for serenity!

Needs to get filtered like a water purifier …

         

         In the quest of fountain fresh streams

                        - Of divine thoughts of freedom...

       

       To restore those shattered dreams …

                         We fervently cherished …

                                 To give a worry-free sleep for the destitute

                   To bring back, the ardent trust

                                             Through loveless lovers

                             

                     To let the itinerant winter nightingale

                       Fly with wings of desire

                                                    Towards the beaming light of spring!

          

 To let the Albatross guide

                              The lost sailor to see the long treasured shore …    

                To let the Hope Train show us hope once again…

                         … Through the eyes of dreamless, sleepless

                                    Romantic drifters

 

To let the Liberty Bell ring her sanctified chorus..

                          Across the seven seas to the thirteen rivers

 

 

Cause, Mother Earth knows - at the end…

              Her poignant,

                           Bohemian & rustic children are the

                               Ultimate Candle of hope  

                 

                  Not the ones, born with silver spoons!

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Beautiful and, deeply felt.

What we love we protect, what we hate we destroy. I guess Man hates his Mother Earth with her seas and rivers, creatures fourlegged and otherwise.

Tragic, yes?

We live for today, in many ways we don't even think of today's children's futures, we assume things will stay as they are, that what we do is fine, it doesn't matter..

You and I know it does, just as your other reviewers do... they care. Maybe through wc.org. we can spread the word.. maybe we can be a writing river trickling love for our world and concern through words.

Sorry, sorry, soapbox.

Your post is unusually constructed, looks fine and is so easy to read. Your phrases flow, and, have a reverence.

' This unraveled earth �

Craving for serenity!

Needs to get filtered like a water purifier �

In the quest of fountain fresh streams

- Of divine thoughts of freedom...'
and more :

' Cause, Mother Earth knows - at the end�

Her poignant,

Bohemian & rustic children are the

Ultimate Candle of hope

Not the ones, born with silver spoons! '


Actually there ARE people in all walks of life who care.. it's the silver spoon attitude from any group that offends.

Will stop. Your post is incredibly thought provoking... thank you.







'

[Helen Woodward]

Bravo!!! Firstly let me tell you that poetry structure is an open book of unwritten literary rule, there are certain structures and guidelines you could follow, but I would rather understand what I'm reading without the restriction of cumbersome structure. Poetry can take any shape or form and yours is great! The content is the real issue and you have beautifully penned the problems of a society gone mad with greed and...every man for himself...syndrome. I loved this and your fantastic ability to string together words of more than one syllable.
Kudos:-)

[Seriana]

I agree with Amanda, very serene. And the flow of words is very fluid. I am not sure you need to break up the lines. I think it might work just fine all centered or left-centered. I truly felt the essence of soaring through the skies in search. What beautiful words you've woven together. :)

[~amanda~]

when i read this i feel so serene. you have immense talent, as you can write poetry that is calm, without it being the least bit boring! that is one of the hardest things to do in my opinion. i feel like i am one of mother earth's bohemian children, so i can relate to this... great write!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A lovely ending indeed. Such descriptive, vivid and moving imagery. Thank you for sharing your talent. Well done.
Light,
Siddartha

[Helena]

Beautiful poetry my friend! Well written and presented. You penned your thoughts
eloquently and I truly enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing this inspiring poem
and I agreed with your sentiments entirely!

~ Helena ~

[Titus McGuire]

Well written, I like how Mother Earth seems to coincide with liberty. I suppose in the end they are one and the same, we are only truly free when we are in Earth's natural beauty as opposed to the creation and destruction of mankind and its sciences. We as humans have a tendency to overlook the beauty of what this world has provided for us, and you so well bring out some of that overlooked beauty in this piece. Humans have a tendency to be destructive creatures, not really looking to the future, but living for the moment, leaving behind our own scars of discontent on the Earth, such as war, pollution, and unnessecary destruction. Again, well written.

[~Angelic~]

wow, I really love this poem! The structure is very eye catching and the words are very powerful. Good job ^_^