A Yearning Heart

Waves, crash onto my body as I stride through the thickening and
Rough water.
Freezing toes sink into the cold winter sand at the bottom
Of the January ocean
Ocean’s icy water suffocates me as
I try to break free from the current.

I think about the beach in the
Summer
Sand castles break between my feet
Salty ocean water brings
Me to think of you

You
To think of you makes me
Die inside
Everything ripped from under me
Razor slides across frail sandy skin
Crimson liquid drowns my mind
But its not my skin being
Torn, its my heart.

My heart yearning for
Your attention,
Anyone’s attention

I want to drown
Drown - dive into the winter
Water frozen as my heart,
My heart
No longer beating,

A mirror -
Myself I lay asleep
A sob escapes the background

Untrustworthy friends pray
Let her be at peace,

Mirror -
Casket filled
With a mirror image of myself
Cold, dead, and unloved
 

Author's Note

sorry i have bad formatting