Calming All The Same

so many ashes on the ground

I know now that it is going to kill me that you are gone.

so many empty bottles lying around

I know now that it is going to kill me before you are done.

so little smoke in the air

I know that I should but I do not care.

so little left to drink here

I know that I should but I do not want you there.

I have lost every means of living

There is nothing that is worth seeing.

You have gained everything

There is so much for you to be.

Shaking and unsteady

Lost and not ready.

Dying and crying

Giving up and never good enough with trying.

So damn far away

gone but not a death away.

So damn much hurt

never gone but never showing it's worth.

Calming all the same

I have given up, but you are not the one to blame.