The Ballad of Cliven Bundy

(Part I)

Listen to the tale of Cliven Bundy--

Nevada cowboy and rancher dude--

Who has circumvented the law for years

With his cocky, to-hell-with-you attitude.

 

Now the government owns eighty-five

Percent of the State of Nevada’s land.

Ranchers’ cattle can graze on the property;

A payment of fees is the only demand.

 

But Bundy’s avoided paying the fees,

(He is above the law, of course.)

When the BLM* entered the picture,

Bundy refused to give in to force.

 

It wasn’t long before every crackpot

Crept out of the woodwork while bearing a gun;

Facing the BLM together,

They defended ol’ Bundy, their favorite son.

 

The fact that Bundy had refused

To pay his fees didn’t faze them;

Wherever Bundy wants his cattle

To roam--gall durn--he can graze them!

 

Cliven Bundy

And the rest:

Meanest outlaws

In the West.

 

The incident turned into a standoff

Till the BLM made its retreat.

Outlaw Bundy and his cohorts

Cheered their enemy’s ignominious defeat.

 

The news like wildfire spread across

The right-wing media apparatus,

And the lawbreaker Cliven Bundy

Was elevated to hero status.

 

Now Occupy Wall Street demonstrators:

Right wingers cheered as police pushed and kicked ‘em;

But here is a person who’s breaking the law,

And people consider the scoundrel a victim!

 

To all the ranchers who follow the rules

And obey the laws this incident shows

That when you don’t agree with a law,

The solution is merely to thumb your nose.

 

If cowboy Bundy refuses to recognize

The federal government, that’s his choice.

But maybe some time in a federal prison

Might give him less of a cause to rejoice.

 

Cliven Bundy

And the rest:

Meanest outlaws

In the West.

(3-16-14)

*BLM = Bureau of Land Management

(Part II)

So Bundy’s supporters--in armed defiance--

Came to his rescue to fight the feds,

Not caring that Bundy had broken the law.

(What do you expect from a bunch of dead heads?)

 

Bundy’s rowdy militiaman thugs

Boldly shared their plan to confront

The armed federal agents with

Protesting women lined up in front!

 

Adding humor to this outlandish farce

Was Mr. Bundy--a real sight gag--

Parading around on his horse and carrying

The American--yes, the NATIONAL--flag!

 

Poor cowboy Bundy just doesn’t get it.

Watch him gloat as he takes his bows.

While not acknowledging the federal government,

He allows it to “subsidize” his cows!

 

Cliven Bundy

And the rest:

Meanest outlaws

In the West.

(4-23-14)

(Part III)

The more Bundy was interviewed,

The more the outlaw dug his own grave:

He asked if the African American’s life

Wasn’t better when he or she was a slave!

 

Not only did Bundy prove to be

With his federal defiance among the basest,

But he also clearly demonstrated

That he was an ignorant racist!

 

Then Bundy also likened himself

To the Founding Fathers of this nation,

Which, along with his bigotry, brought him

Less support for his “victimization.”

 

Mister Bundy, pay your fees

To let your cattle joyfully wend

Their way across the federal lands--

And then this ballad could have an end.

 

Cliven Bundy

And the rest:

Meanest outlaws

In the West.

(4-26-14)