Noah's Dilemma

Since Noah was seemingly righteous

And not a stick in the mud,

God decided to save him

And his family from the great flood.

 

Again going over the instructions

After having built his ark,

Noah had a few questions

Before they could embark.

 

“It says here that I need two

Of every living thing.

But I have some misgivings:

That’s going to be hard to swing.

 

“What’s this about a pl...platypus,

And penguin and k...kangaroo?

And I need to find two skunks.

What am I going to do?

 

“If I don’t find these animals,

They’ll think my work is a sham.

Ah, I know what I’ll do:

I’ll delegate this job to Ham.

 

“But first there’s another question

That’s going to be hard to solve.

And that is the problem of food

And what it is going to involve.

 

“‘All food eaten on Earth’

Has to be on our boat.

With all that food and the animals,

How will we stay afloat?

 

“There’s another problem:

My lions aren’t nice and sweet,

And they have a very strong preference

For gazelle and antelope meat.

 

“Cramped in so tight a space,

I hope we all don’t smother.

How am I going to keep

One animal from eating the other?”

 

He gave his list to Ham

And said, “I’ve found you some work.

I’ve got too much on my mind,

And it’s driving me berserk.”

 

Then Ham elicited help

From brothers Japheth and Shem.

There was no one else available

To help him aside from them.

 

Over one million species

Of animals they had to find!

They’d be in a big heap of trouble

If they left any behind.

 

Noah’s curse on Ham

Didn’t come till much later.

In the meantime Ham had a few

Questions for his pater.

 

“Now, about all this floodwater--

And I don’t disrespect your wishes--

Will it be salty or fresh?

It makes a difference to fishes.

 

“And for forty days and nights

We’ll be floating around;

When the waters recede,

Won’t all the plants have drowned?”

 

Noah said, “Don’t even go there!

There’s no time to stall.

Let’s all get a move on;

Raindrops are starting to fall.”

7-24-14