Party Brawl in Alaska

One wild night in September,

In the year twenty fourteen,

Will be a night to remember.

Will it make the silver screen?

 

At a birthday celebration

In Anchorage, Alaska,

There arose a huge altercation.

Is this typical? I ask ya.

 

The party was calm--as planned.

But all of that calm was short-lived.

Things got way out of hand

After the Palins had arrived.

 

Bristol threw a right hook

At a partygoer's face.

We can imagine that took

A lot of charm and grace.

 

Track went after a guest

Who had dated Willow--his sister.

Maybe someone can attest

As to whether the guy had dissed her

 

At any rate, Track romped around

Shirtless and undeterred

From displaying in a manner profound

His facility for flipping the bird.

 

In the chaos, Hubby Todd

Acquired a bloody nose.

That can't be so odd

When there's a brawl, I suppose.

 

They say that Sarah yelled out,

"Don't you know who I am?"
It seems that without a doubt,

Nobody gave a damn.

 

Someone had called the police,

Who asked the Palins to leave.

The officers tried to make peace.

With rowdies that's hard to achieve.

 

No one pressed charges, they say.

As to how the chaos got going,

The police said that at the soirée,

Alcohol was flowing.

 

Later Sarah claimed

To be proud of Bristol's behavior.

Instead of feeling ashamed,

She considered her daughter a savior.

 

To protect her family, indeed,

A "prayer shield"--she says--played a role.

(But what they all REALLY need

Is greater self-control.)

 

It's scary when you think

That this Alaskan resident

Was actually on the brink

Of becoming our vice president!

(9-26-14)