Black Friday Madness

At five a.m. the doors swing open.

The throng of shoppers lined up at the store

Pushes and shoves and jabs and elbows

Its aggressive way through the wide-open door.

 

Once inside, the crowd scatters

This way, that way, in chaotic motion.

The store clerks gasp, feeling like islands

Surrounded by a raging ocean.

 

"Oh, no you don’t!" one woman shouts

At another woman clutching a box

Containing the last flat-screen TV.

"Hands off; it's mine!" the other one squawks.

 

A mad tug-o'-war ensues

As the two women grapple to claim what's theirs.

An onlooker who is knocked down in the skirmish

Shrieks, "What a sorry state of affairs!"

 

Everywhere you look, items are flying.

The store resembles the scene of a battle,

OR, perhaps, a giant herd

Of loud, thundering, angry cattle.

 

A man stops to pick up a bottle

Of perfume that he dropped--a gift for his wife--

And is trampled by the surge of shoppers.

The poor guy nearly loses his life.

 

One bold shopper with her canister of pepper spray

Threatens to douse the belligerent crowd

Until she is tackled by security guards

And is escorted away, cursing out loud.

 

Announcements blare from the loudspeakers:

"Shoppers' special on aisle three."

Suddenly, the rivers of shoppers change course

As the curious hope to get something free.

 

In the background, Christmas carols playing

The hopeful messages of joy and peace

Are drowned out by the ear-piercing din

That sounds like the honking of thousands of geese.

 

"I want my mommy," a whiny child cries.

"What do you want for Christmas: a dolly?"

Asks Santa, losing his last bit of patience

And doing his best to try to act jolly.

 

The chaos never ceases to wane

As the shoppers vie for the best shopping deals.

One man rushing to grab the last smart phone

Slips and falls head over heels

 

And slides into an obese grandma,

Sending her sprawling into some shelves

Of decorations, which all go flying.

The injured lie covered with reindeer and elves.

 

Interminable lines at the registers await

The exhausted shoppers. You get closer; hurrah!

The woman in front of you then needs a price check!

No, that can't be! That's the last straw!

 

Another day of Black Friday madness.

Would that it could be over! But no.

You've barely started; that's store number one.

You have four more stores to go!

 

(11-30-14)