"Gee Whiz! Santa Sucks!"

"Mommy says that Santa won't be visiting this year.

She says it is because I have been bad.

She always seems so angry and upset 'bout everything.

She always says, 'I'm going to tell your dad.'

 

"Just because I broke my sister's iPad yesterday:

I only wished to see if it could float.

And then I blew it once again when we all horsed around

And I spilled grape juice on her favorite coat.

 

"Last week I broke Mommy's Royal Copenhagen plates.

She said to me, 'That really takes the cake!'

But I don't understand because she didn't even use them.

It's stupid to collect things that can break!

 

"A month ago my daddy bought a brand new fancy car--

The old one, he said, was 'obsolete.'

Boy he really blew his stack one day when he found

My chocolate candy melting on the seat.

 

"My brother had a new flat-screen TV in his room.

He proudly called it 'state of the art.'

I kind of knocked it over, though, while playing with my friend.

Yeah, I know:  I wasn't being smart.

 

"If Santa has been watching me my chances will be slim

Of getting that expensive baseball glove.

But if you ask me, I think that it really sucks that Santa

Does NOT believe in unconditional love!

 

"I'm the victim here, you see. That is what I am.

I try to my best year after year.

If Santa wants to play that way I hope he gets my message:

Tell him he can stick it in his ear!

Yep!

Tell him he can stick it in his ear."

 

(12-22-14)