Granny in Her Four-Wheel Drive

Caught out in a deadly blizzard,

We thought the end was near.

Experiencing zero percent visibility

And insurmountable fear,

We pictured our helpless, frozen bodies--

Icicles à la mode--

When rescue vehicles finally found us

Next to a country road.

Having lost all sense of direction--
In total disorientation--

We considered all of our options

With mounting trepidation.

Suddenly two lights appeared

In our rear-view mirror.

What a sigh of relief we breathed

As a truck got nearer!

Try to stay calm. Do not panic.

Land sakes alive!

There she was to save the day:

Granny in her four-wheel drive.

 

Hank and June were expecting a child

During a storm one spring.

To make matters worse, Hank had been injured--

His arm was in a sling.

June said, "Oh, oh. Baby's comin',"

And Hank started to panic.

"The roads are flooded and the bridges are down!"

Cried the desperate mechanic.

"Besides, I couldn't drive the stick

In my current condition

Even if the roads were good.

What's that? An apparition?"

Through the rain-streaked window Hank

Could see some flashing lights.

Granny was there in her trusty truck,

Repeatedly flashing her brights.

 

Try to stay calm. Do not panic.

Land sakes alive!

There she was to save the day:

Granny in her four-wheel drive.

 

There's a legend on the prairie.

You hear it far and wide.

You can believe the story or not.

Whatever. You decide.

As a monster storm approached

A small Midwestern town,

Swirling clouds indicated

A tornado had touched down.

Granny jumped into her truck

Without a shred of concern,

And driving toward the twister past

The point of no return,

She raced into the monster dead on--

Talk about courage and pluck!--

And knocked that twister to smithereens

With hardly a scratch on her truck!

 

Try to stay calm. Do not panic.

Land sakes alive!

There she was to save the day:

Granny in her four-wheel drive.

 

Whenever we find ourselves in a bind

And wonder how we'll survive,

We think about Granny coming to the rescue

In her four-wheel drive.

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