Funny Changes

Languages constantly change.

English has, and how!

If not, we would still

Be saying "thee" and "thou."

 

Sometimes advertising

And the media create a shift

In the way we use certain words

That’s annoying. Get my drift?

 

Businesses, for example,

Have a "free gift" for you.

You think, "A free gift--oh, boy!”
I like getting gifts, too.

 

But think about it a moment:

Aren't gifts ALWAYS free?

So "Come in for your free gift"

Is a redundancy.

 

We hear that someone "went missing,"

Which to me sounds weird.

The expression sounds so clunky.

What's wrong with "disappeared"?

 

To say "to graduate high school"

Actually makes no sense.

(The number of people who say that

Has grown rather immense.)

 

Schools graduate students.

How hard does that sound?

We graduate from college--

Not the other way around.

 

And then there's "close proximity."

That's redundant because

"Proximity" itself means "closeness."

We should all know that it does.

 

So "close proximity" means

"Close closeness," though you might

Say, "That's what I meant."

I would respond, "Yeah, right."

 

Language changes aren't

Evil or reprehensible.

Grammarians just wonder why

The changes aren't more sensible.

(1-17-16)