How to Do It According to Pruitt

As scandal after scandal envelops

The head of the EPA--

Scott Pruitt--let's hear what

He might have to say:

 

"Having my aide do personal tasks…

That wasn't bad, was it?

Personally, I believe

That everybody does it.

 

"A condo deal from a lobbyist…

Sure, it might've been sweet.

So I like to travel first class--

Why am I taking heat?

 

"Circumventing the White House

To give my aides huge raises.

Whoever has a problem with that…

Well, they can go to blazes!

 

"A 43,000-dollar soundproof

Office telephone booth

Will give me secrecy to make

More deals; and that's the truth!

 

"Fifteen hundred dollars for a set

Of pens is not a waste--

Especially when you know your friends

Have expensive taste.

 

"It isn't easy to rollback so many

Environmental rules.

I can toss out many more

If I have the right tools.

 

"Special deals with a lobbyist…

Come on: give me some slack.

Can't you see that we are only

Scratching each other's back.

 

"Millions spent on a massive security

Detail? Don't you agree

That it makes sense to go all out

To protect someone like me?

 

"So what if I'm the target of

Thirteen investigations.

I'm still helping the industries

And ending regulations.

 

"The president says I'm doing a great job.

I am not on my own.

Damn the environment; full speed ahead!

Let my motto be known."

 

-by Bob B (6-7-18)