A Modern Ballad

(This poem could be sung to the melody of Tom Lehrer's song "An Irish Ballad: Rickety Tickety Tin.")

 

A dangerous person is on the loose--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

A dangerous person is on the loose.

He carries around a hangman's noose.

The government won't tell him vamoose.

RFK Jr.'s° his name--

His name--

RFK Jr.'s his name.

 

Conspiracy theories he knows well--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

Conspiracy theories he knows well.

Like rotten fish they really smell.

In such a world he likes to dwell.

He plays a dangerous game--

A game--

He plays a dangerous game.

 

He tells lies about vaccines--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

He tells lies about vaccines,

And he'll resort to any means

To blow our health to smithereens.

And he will be surely to blame--

To blame--

And he will be surely to blame.

 

Ah, and this is one of his faves--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

Ah, and this is one of his faves:

That cancer is caused by Wi-Fi waves.

By using it we dig our graves.

That's what he's trying to claim--

To claim--

That's what he's trying to claim.

 

That shootings are linked to prescription drugs--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

That shootings are linked to prescription drugs

Is one more crazy idea he plugs.

From co-conspirators he'll get hugs.

At science they like to take aim--

Take aim--

At science they like to take aim.

 

Fluoride causes cancer, says he--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

Fluoride causes cancer, says he,

And AIDS isn't caused by HIV.

But leading experts disagree.

They are not out to get fame--

Get fame--

They are not out to get fame.

 

People will die because of him--

Sing wackety-tackety-tame.

People will die because of him.

With him in charge our future looks dim.

"Wack job" is his synonym,

And he has no feelings of shame--

Of shame--

And he has no feelings of shame.

 

-by Bob B (9-12-25)

 

°Trump's Secretary of Health and Human Services