Vermont

more...

there is one guy

he's from Vermont

he's got sparkles in his eyes

and yet i can't recall his name

 

his brother is in Kilo

his eyes sparkle to

and their parents are great to

all from Brattleboro

 

it's cold there

he's my type of guy

living in the cold

and not where it's hot

 

he is a very knowledgeable boy

we met at a game

a football game

he sat next to me

 

his smile was great

it was infectious

and that's why i'm astounded

i can't remember his name

 

we talked through the whole game

quarters one, two, three, and four

it was like we had met before

like old friends catching up

 

we talked about anything

we talked about everything

we never ran out of words to speak

he was a high school student

 

he educated me on football

i taught him soccer

we talked and talked

it never got old

 

our parents and siblings

well they sat in front of us

they talked and talked

but not as much as us

 

when it came to the end

i didn't want him to go

but he said goodbye

he was so polite and he left

 

i saw him again

i was waiting for my brother

he waved in his passing

he was gone -- again

 

i hoped i would see him again

so we could talk

and i could catch his name

but he waved and was gone

 

maybe next time i will see him again

i hope he remembers what we did

if he doesn't we can start fresh

and maybe then i will remember his name

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I think this piece has great potential but needs to be minimalized. For instance...if you took this and did this I think it would improve the poem because of the subject matter. Check it out.

"there is one guy
he's from Vermont
he's got sparkles in his eyes
and yet i can't recall his name" That's what you got. I'd change it to

One guy from Vermont
Sparkles in his eyes
I can't recall his name


Better...but still your words...that's called editing. lol

[kelsey]

thank you, i was in a rush and didn't catch the errors when i read it last time... thank you again!

[DanaRegen]

Wow, fantastic poem! My only suggestion is to check your spelling. I thought this was a lovely poem, thanks for sharing!
-Dana :)