Chapter 3, The Day I Found Guilt

Sometimes what feels good is not the good afterwards... Mature/teen topic...

The day didn’t end any worse, but it didn’t get any better as well. I fell in front of the math class, and almost hit my head against the first table in the classroom. The teacher wasn’t in and like always when that happened, the class turned into a riot, papers flew from across the room, the chairs were pulled into groups where the girls sat, and the jocks played their crappy techno music. I, the guy who didn’t even fit in with the nerds, stood in front of the class, walked to my table, and came the invisible piece of wire the devil or some sadistic ghost put in my way. My left foot hit the right ankle, causing a collapsing of my limp body across the floor, tables were bumped out of my way by my hands, luckily, and my head hit the floor; not really hard though, but I had a really bad head ache afterwards. The class turned into a silent frenzy for a second; you could hear the paper fall to the ground, and the breathing of someone, and then, the laughing started. Once it started, they didn’t stop. I felt the blush on my face turn to two red tomatoes. I am not going to go into the detail anymore, it is now over and done.

 

The walk home was more fun than the past week combined with extra toppings of ice-cream and chocolate. In front of me walked two senior girls. The one had a really tight blue jean on and a cream top. But I could see her panty line through it, and a piece of the white lace sticking out at the back of her pants. The other girl, blond hair so long it touched her lower back, had a short blue skirt on. I prayed for a little wind, and what do you guess, there is a God out there. A sudden gust blew the skirt up a little bit. I didn’t see anything, but I saw enough to make my own conclusions. This extraordinary show continued until the next corner where they turned the opposite way. I saw enough to make my day, to get me ready for the afternoon. The front door was open like most of the time; my footsteps echoed loudly through the open house. I made my way to my room and locked it. My heart started to beat faster as I knew what was coming, my hands started to tremble a bit, and a good shiver went down my back. My stomach turned around when I switched on the computer. Like murphy wanted it, it took an age to turn on. I walked up and down my room to wear off some of the excitement. The windows tune played and I knew it was time. I sat on the soft chair, and started to block out all the sounds around me. The browser opened, the clicking of the mouse started, my hand moved, my fingers typed, and like magic they appeared. Two girls started dancing on the screen and taking their clothes off slowly. I sat in the position and pulled down my pants. Two nude figures danced on the screen while I did my thing. It felt like nothing then I was finished, all the excitement for two minutes of pleasure, even less. I sat on my bed, my whole body hot and sweat dripping down my face, the heavy burden started to fall over my shoulders. The sounds of the outer world returned slowly to my ears. My eyes burned slightly; I just stared in front of me.

                “God, why did I just do this? I feel like this every time,” I said quietly to myself. I heard the footsteps coming closer to my room and then the knock. Startled I sat up straight.

“Open up this door, now!”

 

Author's Note

Hope this is not too gross, i just felt i needed to bring this into the book... when depressed and no one likes you, the figures on the screen is the only people who accept you,,,

Reviews

[shunik]

..sometimes i also felt the same way..

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

His characterization seems so realistic.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

The insight into the character is pretty sad if you think about it. He seems to be the outcast of the school, someone in their own world. Either way, I'm also interested as the other readers for you to continue this story. And don't worry, I have read worst. :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I agree with Rae on this. It does give insight to the character and shows a vulnerable side. "Boys will boys", so it's only natural... I'm interested in the development of this story. Great job! Keep up the good work.. :)

[Raya Avans]

Well I have to agree with you, it adds to the story so far, gives us more of an insight to the character and who he is. This is defiantly different for you! (i'm just commenting on here, rather than having three different comments for each) so, I do like it so far, and i'm interested to see where you go with this. You give the image of the young boy really well (obviously, this wouldn't be such a struggle for you) but still, you portray him well, i'm really getting a sense of 'him' but still waiting for that character twist.. I'm not sure what to think about the way your writing, it is your first time dipping into something like this, so i'm not expecting perfection. While it could be improved and looked over, added to, etc. I do like it! its nice to see you venture.. well done. looking forward to more..