Self-Destruction

It feels like self-destruction is necessary. 
Take all my thoughts and feelings,
And bury them deep down inside of me. 
Yes, I know the thought sends some reeling,

But, I see no use in sharing my feelings anymore. 
It feels like sharing becomes a bore. 
No one can really help me. 
I'm nothing special to see,
And there's nowhere peaceful for me to be.

So, I'll keep everything in. 
Of course, I'll one day explode,
In one way or another. 
And whoever sees,
Will wonder where all the pain has been.

How did so many thoughts and feelings cram into someone so small?
It all begins with the realization 
of how little can be improved in my life. 
I can try to be happy or wealthy with all my might,
But, that's not how life works. 
And sometimes,
All that trying makes things worse.

So, self-destruction it is. 
Tamping the flames of my emotions with a final fizz,
Laughing away my pain,
There may also be a little rain,
But that's okay.
It's all a part of the process. 
I'm just counting the days.

Author's Note

Day 26 of the May poetry prompts. The topic is: Self-destruction.

Reviews

[Mr. D]

You understand. That the world is a pit of hopelessness and despair. That keeping quiet about how you feel is the only smart way to live. That no one cares how you feel and are only too happy to add to your problems for telling them about them. Shame you had to learn it so young. But it is all true. And it is why I forego friendships and relationships.

[Tess Melendez]

I learn a lot of old-headed things young. I'm only 20, but I feel much older in spirit because of how I grew up and how I am continuously treated. I have a small portion of my spirit that is still child-like from being so sheltered when I was younger, but that seems to assist in creating such emotional pieces - through an entire sequence of events - of course. I manage to have some friendships but, they don't tend to last long. Neither do relationships. Maybe for this same reason, can't be sure. Thank you for reviewing, though.

[Mr. D]

Yep. No problem

[pearl]

It's so painful. :((( I can relate

[Tess Melendez]

That is the whole purpose of my works. They are often painful but they all are there to be relatable too. Thank you for reviewing. :)