Dear Life (My Last Request)

I'm trying to forget. 
Forget all of the moments I've written about,
Over and over on a constant roundabout. 
I'm trying to pull them off that cycle,
Set them in the bin with the recycles,
Give them plenty of time to crumble,
Reassemble. 
Then, return, renewed, making my heart tremble.

I'm trying to forget all the moments that made me feel too much,
Forget every word, every touch,
Every place...
That destroyed me in one way or another.

Forget even the times I was happy,
What use do they serve me now?
As I place my scraps of Hope on Life's altar,
Muttering my last prayer,

Twenty years old with a small bucket list, 
Five years, that's it.

Dear Life, Dear Fortune,
You've never seemed to tune in,
I bid you do so, just this once. 
I promise, I'm not asking for some nonsense,
I merely wish you to guide me
as I fulfill my final wishes. 
Help me pass with contentment,

I lay down my last bright rays 
on your golden trays,
Take them and lead me to what I need.
I just want to lay down that last day
with the smallest of real smiles on my face,
Let me feel that, at least.

I've spent nearly ten years
circulating in this cycle of stress and tears.
This is my only reprieve,
the completion of my small list before my end. 
I'll press those other memories deep down in my brain,
Replace them with that list,
Make my mind a nearly blank slate,
Slathered with new colors, 
Until my death in that beautiful place.

Author's Note

This one is written with the topic of: Forgetting. I actually really like this one. That's all I have to say, really.