Heads or Tails

You can crab my skin with your cold, indifferent nails

But never my soul,

Playing the game of heads or tails.

When I scream through dark trees,

In your forest of wildness,

Look at me, torturer, I’m sore and aidless.

Reviews

[Nevtry]

The wording of the poem is well done. :)

Just be careful about grammar: there should be a comma between cold and indifferent in the first sentence and also after the fourth and fifth sentences. And the theme is inconsistent - at the start the poem is about the person being strong, and unaffected at the soul. But then at the end the poem speaks about how they are alone and hurt. There is nothing in the poem to show, and nothing that implies any change to explain why at the start, the person is strong but at the end, he or she is weak.

But it still sounds nice. :)

[Mariam]

Thanks for your constructive review and stopping by. I appreciate it. The theme is personal maybe that's why it's incosistent for a reader. Unfortunately)

[Nevtry]

No problem. Hn. Well, that can be solved by making the poem longer, or showing a turning point in the poem, but really, it's up to you. :)
And best wishes for whatever you're facing.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

You can crab my skin with your cold, indifferent nails
Playing the game of heads or tails

These where the best lines by far :) Different kind of poem but very interesting :)

[Mariam]

thanks for your kind review :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

your most welcome