Awoken

My heart swollen and rotten

Fell on the sands…

So heavy and molten

It lay with the shelves.

You took it and said,

“It’s unbroken!”

My dear, how outspoken

Your crying was...

It's music left me awoken.

Reviews

[Irenic]

It is very sweet and cool.

[Wuji]

You really have a lyrical charm in your simplicity, I found this very fresh and readable.

[Mariam]

Thanks for your kind review! ^)

[emmajoy]

There's a lyrical ring to this.. could imagine it being accompanied by a guitar! Clever rhthmic use of wording, Mariam... leaves me smiling.

[Mariam]

Haha thanks, Emma!

[emmajoy]

You're welcome. Happy New Year, Mariam ..

[emmajoy]

Tis good to see you back..

[BL]

The music of a voice is a nice idea, a lovely short piece

[Mariam]

Glad that you like it)

[Chandler bing]

so small yet so powerful nicely done..

[Mariam]

thanks for stopping by :)

[Vria P Crow]

"Awoken" speaks volumes of a broken heart yet it is written without the chain of cliches. The speaker remains hopeful in its conclusion; a phoenix emerging from the ashes. I admire the empathy expressed in these few lines; it is the greatest healer.

[Mariam]

wonderful review! thanks for stopping by

[Vria P Crow]

You are very welcome! Thank you for sharing!