The Pier

A personal poem for the one who is my life...

Before the fall I found my future,

She stood beside a lake of glass,

The sun reflected off the surface,

And carried light onto the lass.

In her eyes I felt a deepness,

Time has never seemed more still,

My broken heart had been so empty,

But on the night I felt it fill.

She stretched her hand I took it slow,

Her hand fit mine just like a glove,

I kissed her then out on the pier,

And for the first time I felt love.

Two more summers came and went,

Then slower winters passed us by,

But here we are out on this pier,

And I won't ever leave your side.

Every time I see this place,

I will only see your eyes,

Feel the sunlight on my face,

And your lips opposed to mine.

If I had a single dream,

I would dream for you to stay,

To bring me back out to the pier,

And love me like you did that day.

One day when we're old enough,

The sun will sink beneath the sky,

We'll come here to recite our vows,

And sing our daughters lullabies.

Author's Note

The music is "Liz on Top of the World"- I added it because frankly it is beautiful and it reminds me of that moment

Reviews

[Gleb Zavlanov]

A very mesmerizing, heartfelt lyrical write. I really enjoyed it and had no other choice but to add it to my favorites. Bravo!

One tiny suggestion:

The point of view changes from the beginning to end. It start from third person and ends at first person. It's a bit bothersome.

Other than that, brilliant work!

[Kenaz]

Thank you friend, though I think you'll find the point of view is homogeneous; it is the tense that changes.

[Aaron the Baron]

You articulate beauty so well and consistently. Great job and great work! The ending left me breathless really!

[Kenaz]

Thank you so much!

[Baby Ricochet]

Very sweet and romantic. "and feel your lips opposed to mine" Needs to be shorter. Touching poem though

[Kenaz]

That it does...maybe taking out the verb in the second part "feel the sunlight on my face, and your lips opposed to mine"...

[Sami Khalil]

A lovely romance poem. Thank you for sharing...:)...............

[Kenaz]

thanks for reading

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................

[Pryde Foltz]

One day when we're old enough,
The sun will sink beneath the sky,
We'll come here to recite our vows,
And sing our daughters lullabies.

Lovely to have that special place. Lovely ending to this beauty-filled poem.

[Kenaz]

Yes indeed, on the shores of the Eerie

[Aethereal]

This is a very romantic poem about a chain of events that haunts a place, a pier. This emotionally charged pier has the power to turn back the clock to an extraordinary experience. We all know of such places.

[Kenaz]

thanks for dropping in

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Oh my goodness! This is breathtaking! One of the most romantic poems I have ever read...
Practically brings tears....
I enjoyed the rhythmic flow, and the rhyming is immaculate. Love this! xx :)

[Kenaz]

Thank you so much. Love is rampant in my writing; I have had good luck :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's my pleasure, I look forward to reading more of your art...so glad you're fortunate to find love and write about it. :)

[Kenaz]

No hurries

[Kenaz]

I've read this one three times, when I was underway, and each time it gave me new sentiments....
"She stood beside a lake of glass" interesting wording, for me, it means, or the lake is frozen, or there is a metaphorical glass kind of wall in between, so you can't reach her."

You're reaching out in this persona, to your beloved, I think that's what the second and third stanza's say. I think your love is "the fall" and that you call her a "she" is brilliant.

I would wonder in what season this children (daughters) would be (have been) born, then....
Nice ponderings there, overall a beautiful seasonal poem, of love, life, and happiness.

- Elisa

[Kenaz]

Thanks E.L. The lake is smooth like glass, meaning that all is still, as if time had stopped. Not to say you couldn't attach any other meaning to it. Each person reads differently.

Thanks for explaining that particular piece of English idiom to me! grateful!

[zainul]

Adore this passionate and amorous piece.
I have not enough words to characterize this.

[Kenaz]

You are too kind

[zainul]

I am very pleased to listen to the song of your passionate heart.

[David Scott]

Before the fall... Hmmm?
I have fallen too... We all have.
Yet at times, when we stumble we drop our most precious gifts and we loose the power or trust to hold them again...
I hope your dreams come true and she will again trust you with her kiss at the end of the pier...
If this is a true IRL story you have my deepest and sincerest sympathies.
If not, the poetry is moving either way.

[Kenaz]

Time and distance have pulled us apart, but I'm hopeful that things will work out. Trust is the most important thing right now.

[David Scott]

Good luck...
I often wonder how hard to pursue fate or let it happen.
I tend to fight life hard and create my own destiny... It doesn't always work out. Ha.
Maybe I will learn how to accept and recurve the gifts of the universe?
Maybe this approach could ease the turmoil until things balance out?

[Kenaz]

I'm just holding on for dear life