Three Days of Fasting

I decided that I should start posting stories relating to my character Raban Amsel Färber. Enjoy my atheist baby's short story~

For some foolish reason, the kingdom of Icaria has three days set apart for fasting. Why, a smart being might ask? Well, the religion that has been forced upon the pathetic people requires the followers to starve themselves for a week. Because seven whole days was far too intense, the monarchs shortened it to a still torturous three days. Luckily for me, I am not a true citizen; well at least I claim to not be. I adore not having an idiotic belief system raping my soul, unlike many others. On these empty three days, I enjoy wandering the market stalls; eating delicious treats in front of the citizens and asking if  passers-by would like a small taste. Because I descended from queen Abelind somehow (well, not somehow. She adored sex and her wife, queen Illa, would withhold sex from her),  people must always be polite to my dickery. 

I remember when I started going into the church during their prayer-hours and just chomping away on some buttered bread. Their starved faces were priceless. When they passed around that money basket, I put in small candies and offered some to the people around me. It always put a smile on my face. Buer used to find my fun offensive, but now he's come around to it. He worries that the people will hate me, but I know they already loathe me. These imbeciles have hated me ever since I moved in here, and I don't like them either.

The living-beings of this kingdom are worthless pigs. They listen to their leaders aimlessly and follow their foolish orders like lost puppies. If I were to stand in the town square and talk about how the gods came down and spoke to me, I could get 3/4th of the people to praise me like a king. I could simply demand for a woman to lay with and dozens would be at my feet. It's utterly pathetic. These cretins treat monarchs like paths to the non-existent gods, and they expect these "gods" to help them with everything. I know that gods do not exist; "fallen angels" do, but not gods. If they did exist, my parents would not be dead and my grandmother wouldn't have been a psychotic rapist and criminal, nor would she be queen in her time. Gods, as pleasant as they seem, are just bunkum. Hence why I make the citizens suffer more with my teasing.The day I let religion in my life as a positive is the day I finally get the pluck to kill myself. 

Reviews

[Robert Parlange]

A good allegory about the nonsense of dogma. We are well into the 21st century and still this religious insanity contaminates the current election process.

I like the way you think. Good writing.

[Alexandra Hounschell]

Thank you, good sir