Gone, with a part of me with you

I kind of tried to set the rhythm of the poem to be jerky, like a *um* heartbeat :) If you read it out loud, tap it out, maybe you'll hear it

Your name echos
through my thoughts
like

a

poun-

ding

heart-

beat.

Can't

eat
Can't

sleep
that endless echo
slowely

killing me.

Smile
and laugh.
I try to move on.
Your memory still haunts me.

A whiff of the cologne you wore
a wave of terror
encases me.

I want to scream
but that echo
slides into my mouth
and turns into glue.

I can't escape
this living nightmare.

It ticks me off
that you don't care.
That you don't know.
But I know
if you ever
were to come back
I would run away
as fast
as I could.
And wouldn't look back.

Screaming loud enough
so that noone
could hear me

Reviews

[Henry Clemmons]

You write with great passion. A pure honest voice not trying to sound poetic. A very refreshing read. I am also glad ur main character would turn and run if this person wanted back. Hurting and carrying on is one thing, hurting and surrendering is another. I enjoyed this very much.

[BlueberryKisses]

This poem is amazing! I love every bit of it, especially the second last stanza :) great write :)

[Tasha]

" Screaming loud enough so that no one could hear me ". I loved this and also the quick lines, it made very intense. You did a really good job.

[CharlesMonroe]

"Can't eat, can't sleep
that endless echo slowely killing me."
^_^ this is so sad and beautiful...I love it (:

[Chloe]

I love the sharp quick lines. They force the emotion out of the poem to make it even more intense. Awesome job!

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

This is really good! I adore your work! x