Alone

I crave loneliness

The emptiness that others feel,

is what I long for.

It does not torture me,

yet I feel evil for wanting this.

Turning against the love that others offer,

wishing everything away for my selfish goal.

I do not spite people,

I think they complete the world.

But I still feel this longing to be alone.

This feeling feeds off of nothing yet it grows.

Why does it's bitterness speak to me?

An imortal call that lives withen me.

Will I ever be freed from this eternal emotion?

Can somebody save me from this captavating beast?

Until then I wait for something to end this strugle.

Author's Note

I suck at writing poetry, but I love writing it. So please be nice, and resist the urge to make fun of it.

Reviews

[N. Scott Cohen]

I really like the subject, but some of the rhythm is strange. The lines:

"The emptiness that others feel,
is what I long for."

don't flow and feel choppy. Try to hear how the poem sounds read, and feel whether or not the line breaks feel natural. Otherwise, very dark and interesting.

i think its a great start. i can tell that youll be great at writting poetry. the way the lines were broken up was strange but kinda cool. i wish it was longer though but still well written.

[cassandra violet]

I liked the ideas that you had behind this, though from a professional point of view the language you use could improve, chose words that strongly describe your emotions! Also keep in mind of how your words flow with rhyme and alliteration. But like I said, I liked the message that the poem conveys, very deep and a feeling that I think we can all relate to at times.

[.]

. wow ... what an interesting aspiration ... beautifully written ...

[J. Grant]

Well well, Its rather good and creative. I do have to say some places you could use some better wording but its really good. I will also say you could have started the "beast" personification earleir but yeah its great.