Dear Anna-Letter from a mother

A young mother gives her child up for adoption.

        I just saw you.  Your perfect little legs, your perfect fingers, your perfect mouth.  You're my daughter but I cannot touch you.  I try to get a glimpse of whose holding you, who your new mother will be, but I can't make out the face.  I think maybe it isn't you, maybe there is still a chance I could go back to the orphanage to get you.  You don't know how much I love you.   

       I hope someday, someone tells you about me.  Maybe you will come back for me, just like I wanted to come back for you.  You don't know how badly I want you to have a good life.  You are strong, a survivor.  The doctors didn't think that you would make it but I knew you would.  After they checked all of your vital signs they took you, I didn't even get to kiss you goodbye.  I guess it may have been better that way.  I wouldn't have wanted you to see me like this.  I promise that I will find you again in another life and we will be together. I love you. 

       The crib that was all made up for you will never be slept in, the baby bottles will never be drunk from.  I look over to the soft small blanket that would have been your blankie, your shield.  I should have been your shield.  I never should have let them take me from you.  I open the door to our small apartment and run into the street screaming for you.  I hope maybe I will see you again so I can get you back.  I fall to the ground.  Someone is walking towards me.  'She's gone, she's gone' I cry.  I keep holding onto you but I can't bring you back.  So i've decided to let you go.  

       Anna.  That was going to be your name.  Anna Rose.  I hope your new parents name you something beautiful.  I hope all the children at school want to sit with you at lunch.  I prey you show kindness everywhere you go and do not emit scorn because of me. I hope your daddy goes to dances with you.  I hope your mommy kisses you everynight.  I hope your sister knows how lucky she is to have you, and I hope your brother protects you.  That should have been me protecting you.  Close your eyes and think of me, and I will be there in your heart.  

     Love your forever loving mother, Beth 

  

Author's Note

ignore grammer problems. advice how to make it more sad?