The Forest at Dusk in the Rain

A free verse poetry painting.

In the forest at dusk

Rain masks the twilight

With coal colored fog 

Like black lace draped over weary trees

Hunched slightly forward

Under the weight of the air,

The currents of rain,

And the beetles gnawing at their bark.

Author's Note

Please give me your honest feedback. Any suggestions are welcome.

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

Fantastic imagery on this.

With coal colored fog
Like black lace draped over weary trees
Hunched slightly forward
Under the weight of the air,

This made me think that perhaps the tree was mourning something. Perhaps it is just me that thinks so, but either way your words painted an ethereal picture and were a delight to absorb.

[J. Land]

Thank you for your kind words. Really, it is only whatever you, as the reader, take out of the poem that truly matters. For me, I put the words down and see where the audience takes them.

[Persona]

I like it, but it's not blank verse. Blank verse has 10 syllables on each line. I love the black lace line. The last two lines weren't so great.

[Muse]

The title...the words...your imagery, it is all so melancholy and perplexing. My favorite line:

Like black lace draped over weary trees

I can picture a wet fog so wet and a sky so dark, it becomes an imaginary blanket for the woods. What an ethereal magic you created. This is art made out of words!

Muse

[J. Land]

Thank you!

[charlie]

I get the picture. I see the painting you try to evoke. Perhaps because I live with a forest making up half my property it is very easy for me to connect with your descriptors. Having said that, I've never seen both fog and rain at the same time...
Still and all, you make it clear that this is an action poem. I happen to like it. Even if it were a metaphor.

[J. Land]

Thank you. Perhaps my fog would better be termed a cloud drifting below the treeline.