Unsettled

A poem that is raw in form and subject. I've written far better work, but this is quintessentially me in my dark moments.

Events beyond my control
Unsettle me, like looking in a mirror
And seeing only weakness
Or waking up only to close
My eyes and wish for sleep.

To lie awake at night
Is the harshest cruelty.

Alone in the dark, the house
Full of sleeping dreamers
Memory invades my peaceful moments
Disrupts the rhythm of the night
Substitutes calm for chaos.

I forget to not remember
My infinite fallibility.

I once was found, but now I'm lost
Inside a whirlwind of deeds done
That cannot be undone
Wrought not with regret or guilt
But chilling, implacable helplessness.

To lie awake at night is the harshest cruelty.
I forget to not remember my infinite fallibility.
Events beyond my control unsettle me.

Author's Note

This poem is a bit whiny and overwrought, which is exactly how I felt when I wrote it. Any comments and suggestions are welcome.

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

Your subtle use of repetition here is very nice. It doesn't feel "whiny"- it does, however, feel down, and discouraged. This reminds me of times where I just lay in bed and long for the quiet, peaceful sleep.... Sleep eludes me and I cannot get my dang head to be quiet. I am plagued with voices, doubts, memories- that you can only ignore for so long before they make themselves heard. I think this is a piece that we can all relate to. My favorite line is, "I forget to not remember my infinite fallibility."... gave me chills, and the subtle change and repetition just made it that more intense...
I like the honest, moving, simplicity of this. Makes it an easy read, where you are left with only the raw emptions of the author and the thoughts and emotions that you are able to draw out.. very nicely done.. I enjoyed :)

[J. Land]

Thank you. I wish I could say it wasn't from experience, but it was. Writing is therapy and even better when it's well received.

[AprilRN1210]

I agree with that statement wholeheartedly. That is exactly why I write.. You are very welcome. It was honestly my pleasure.