The Bottom

Sometimes it's hard to see past the darkness.

Have you hit "rock bottom"?
Yet
I don't know how far down you go
To get to the bottom
When you're supposed to be at the
Top

I've been far down the
Hole
And I must say the
Scenery
Is not worth the trip

It may be a short
Trip
Or a long one
And the darkness seems not to
End

When you think you've fallen your final
Fall
You find there's always another
Ledge
To step off

I've been told that no matter
How deep and dark the journey
Down
Takes you there's always a
Rope
Somewhere to grab hold of and
Pull
Yourself up or be pulled up

But

It's hard to find the rope as you fall
And hard to see the rope with your
Eyes
Closed because you can't see beyond the dark
Anyway

You'd think someone would put a
Lantern
Or two along the rope because
I'm pretty sure there's no
Light
At the
Bottom

Author's Note

Let me know how it flows. All comments and suggestions welcome.

Reviews

[Fatum]

As Cathy says below me the enjambment use is quite nice and adds suspense and emphases on certain words. Just as you step of ledges the hanging words read as little ledges in my mind..


As we all know repetition is nice in poetry and it adds certain power to words and lines. However...

I feel in this poem the over use of the word rope is almost distracting to me. I feel there is no purpose for the repetition in this case. I find it took away from the flow of the poem and each time I found my self saying rope it was just weird.

Try switching the word rope with a simile or perhaps just a synonym.

This is a strong piece that I enjoyed reading. A nice free verse poem. You got a nice style. Keep sending me read requests I'll happily read and critique them.

Also I am an avid little poet my self, feel free to give my work a read, We have a similar tone you may enjoy.

Cheers.
Fatum

[Cassie Black]

I really like the way you broke up the lines, I thought that was quite interesting and different. Flow is good and overall I quite like this

[J. Land]

Thank you.