Excerpt from the story "The Clockwork Heart"

This story was inspired by the poem of the same name. This excerpt is about 3 chapters in. Tell me what you think of the style and the character so far.

     The following morning, Edward Reese woke in a fog, the sounds of the previous 24 hours softly pushing through to the forefront of his memory. People arguing, the metallic click-whir of the machines, seeming to resonate into the room itself. And underscoring it all, knifing through the haze of the anesthetic, was the ratcheting clackclackclackclack and then the soft tick-tick-tick of a fist sized spring being wound and then slowly beginning to unwind. He slowly sat up in bed, the fog lifting in his mind. He looked down to his bare chest, and there, directly above his sternum, sat the small X-shaped scar. He took a deep breath, and quieted his mind. Sounds from outside faintly echoed in his flat, mingling with the muted gold of early morning light. He shut out the sounds of shopkeepers opening stalls, of paiges running to their first assignments, and of the occasional pedestrian out for an early morning constitutional. Then he heard it.....felt it more, really. Deep within himself, at his very core, he felt the pistons moving, the smalls gears turning, pumping his lifeblood through his veins. And powering all that, he heard that familiar tick-tick-tick, the spring slowly unwinding.
      He touched his hand to his chest, tracing the lines of the scar. Slowly, and for the first time in days, he got up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Stumbling a little, he made his way to the window and looked out at the slowly waking city. Smoke poured from chimneys of forges and bakeries alike. Horseshoes clattered on the cobblestones as the shrill whistles of great iron and steel steamers pierced the air from the river a few miles off. Through all this, his mind wandered. There was so much life to live in one month, so much to do, to get ready for. Where would he start? Well, that answer was obvious to him. He would start where everything in his life always began. With her. He remembered his last night with Alexis, before the accident, before his real heart stopped beating when the Institution had found him. He remembered her last words to him before he walked away that evening.
     "Edward, you truly are amazing." He didn't agree, didn't see anything special or amazing in himself. But now.....now he had a chance to try.


                                   ***

      A pair of sad, almost ancient eyes watched Edward slowly leave the old red-brick townhouse, and make his way down Ellington St. The mind behind those eyes studied him, appraising the strength of his heart and the content of his character. Had anyone been able to see them, they would have seen hope flash in those eyes for a split second. Then they were gone, along with whom they belonged.