Double Sided Mirror

Part of my psychological and physicological struggles.

Sigh.

How
Do I explain
This need of mine
To live my life
As a woman?

Having
Spent 36 years
Living as
A man.

Never
Fully comfortable
Around others
Or within
My own body.

Hating
The very sound
Of my male voice
And the appearance
Of my male body.

To
The point
I turned inwards
As depression
And anxiety
Ruled my life.

Dangerously
Spiraling downwards
Into suicidal thoughts
And attempts
Without anyone realizing
This.

Until
I was not able
To hide it
Anymore.

Am
Struggling
To accept the fact
My body will never be
Fully female
In it's appearance.

Until
All my surgeries
Are done.

When
Reality matches
My self image.

Author's Note

Originally written July 6, 2012.

Reviews

[N!LoC]

"i am beautiful... in every single way...." (sang like xtina ) :-)

[therisa]

Thank you.