Why Can't Be You?

My reaction to physical contact.

Why
Do I have
This need to be
Perfect?

Know
No one is
Perfect.

Yet
It exists.

As
Echoes of my past
Keep resurfacing
In the present.

Haunting
Everything
I do.

A
Simple task
Like accepting
Or giving a hug
Is a traumatic experience
As waves of anxiety
Flood my body.

Forcing
The friend
Or love one away
Hurting them
By doing so.

While
My face is
Lit up
Like a deer caught
In the headlights.

As
My frustration
And anger build up
Internally.

Over
My reaction
To their offer
Of support
And love.

With
Each rejection
A little part
Of my soul
Dies.

Author's Note

originally written August 16, 2012.