End Results

The past haunts the present.

Daddy
Why were you
So distance
From me?

Demanding
From me
To suppress
My emotional self.

As if
Being open
With my tears
And fears
Is a negative.

Bottling
These feelings
Deep within myself
As the bullying
Took a deeper toll
Upon my soul.

So now
As a forty-something
I find myself
Struggling on
A disability pension
To make ends
Meet.

Living
Well below
Canada's poverty line.

Often
Forced to choose
Between transitioning
And food.

Either way
My health
Whether mental
Or physical
Suffers.

Author's Note

Originally written August 12, 2012.

Reviews

[gcp]

This does read a bit like a diary entry - some difficult choices and open questions...

[therisa]

By writing like this, I'm forcing myself, to face my past and try to deal with it. Thank you, for reviewing this poem of mine.

[gcp]

Writing is a good way to fight these things - get them on the page where they can be identified and tackled rather than spinning round in the head...

[therisa]

So very true. For me, I tend to block painful memories behind mental barriers.