March 30, 2007

The date of my first written poem, since leaving the formal educational system.

Hard

To believe

Six long years

Have past.

Since

My first poem

Was written.

A

Pitiful effort

Looking back

At it now.

One

Safely kept

In my poetic

Morgue.

First

Attempt

In expressing

Myself

Beyond proses.

Required

During my academic

Career at university

That ended

In 1994

With a BA.

Never

Realized

A poet was

Begging for release.

From

The strait jacket

Which the modern

Education system

Teaches poetry.

Where rigidity

And formulaic thinking is

The blue print

To teaching poetry.

Never mind

The child

Who thinks

Outside of the box.

Thus

Gets bored

And turned off

From this expressive form

Of the Arts.

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

I too remember my first attempt at writing a poem. It frightened me. I played
the devils advocate whose official duty was to examine critically the evidence on which a demand for beatification rests. It made me happy in that blessed kind of way
where happy is a place you get to and not a final qualitative step.

I have grow to love the shape of poems on a page as if something wonderful
had hammered it into a desired shape. And I love endings, whether tender
or otherwise, but something to tell me that a truth has been filled in. Like
your final stanza where I can imagine all who come here shall nod their
collective heads in approval.

Nicely written.
dana

[therisa]

Thank you, Dana, for taking the time to read and review my poem. For too many years, I was turned off from poetry, by the way that it was taught, in Ontario.

[caesarkreshen]

this is smile-ish but I would say the poet is still begging to be released from form. Very much restraint.

[therisa]

How so?

[caesarkreshen]

Short lines, capitalized lines. Seems very rigid. Imagine if someone talked with the pattern you break lines, you would say they are a very uptight person, or I would. Let yourself go...!

[therisa]

This is the style, which I write. One that lessen the impact, which my various learning disabilities have upon my written language. So you, either like it or not.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there is no formula for writing or liking poetry...

it is art....not information.

i like this ...and am reminded of my first poem...which also lies in the morgue...and is very very cold at this point, because it is not coming out.

it took me a couple years of writing to distance myself from the feelings, just enough to start playing a bit...to get less subjective---and i was able to let the words still flow on their own...but got just enough away from the personal...i think we all strive for something universal in our writing so others can relate in their own way...if it is too personal then readers will tend to feel for the poet...but feel no relation to the words...if that makes sense.

at any rate...i related to this...and the moment of my first piece.

jacob

[therisa]

Thank you, Jacob, for your words of high praise. Myself, I am still an apprentice, learning the craft of poetry, and how words should flow, together.