Is This It?

Another Monday night rainstorm.

Oh Venus

Have you seen

Where my flippers

Were placed?

A

Blinding flash

Of lightning

Lights up

My apartment.

Oh Star

Are you sleeping

Upon my wet suit?

As

A deafening

Thunder clap explodes

Overhead.

Oh Squeak

Have you hid

My goggles

While playing

With them?

All

Light and sound

Disappears

Into the sudden

Rainy deluge.

Hey

Little ones

The world does not end

On a Monday.

So

Please come back

To me.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You have a very clear concept and you use some very good imagery in this. The questioning tone helps keep things interesting, I think, and the ending is very poignant. I personally don't really like how almost every stanza starts with a one-word line - looks very monotone to me, but whatever floats your boat.

[therisa]

Thank you, Trigorin, for your review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like this, almost like two poems in one...or a dialogue going on while the poet is explaining the weather that is formulating outside the window.

nice