The Schism Within

How an episode of disassociation can feel like.

Vagueness

Unease of one's mind

Sense of distraction

Of not being

In the here and now

Of reality.

Unable to say

Your exact mental state

Without sounding

Like you're nuts

To others.

Struggling to understand

What the world is

Saying to you.

But

The words are

A jumbled mixture

Of disconnected sounds

To your ears.

Wanting to flee

To some place

Faraway.

Where you feel

Safe and secure

From life's horrors

Which haunt you.

Knowing

Safety and security

Are illusionary

At the best

Of times.

And self-harm

A moment away

On a bad day

When everything

Goes wrong.

Author's Note

Disassociation is, one of the symptoms of PTSD, which I have been dealing with, for most of my life. In which, a person experiences an alternative reality from the world around them. Some times, it can be very violent.

Originally written, October 28, 2013.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

a sad write but only by writing or speaking out will people understand.

[therisa]

I hope so, Tammy.