To Feel Again

Struggling with a form of disassociating.

Words

Artistically scattered

Across the page

Expressing my feelings.

 

But

Am numb

To the emotional impact

Others point out.

 

As if

Two different poems

Are occupying

The same space

And time.

 

Wondering

If the disassociating

Will ever stop

When I write

About my past.

 

Or

My struggles

I'm experiencing

Currently.

 

Breaking down

Those impersonal barriers

Which separates me

From the world.

 

Enabling me

To get up

From the emotional

"Cone of silence"

I dwell under.

 

Softly sighing

At the huge task

Facing me

In overcoming

Forty years of conditioning.

Author's Note

Originally written, September 30, 2014.