Look Back

Why am I

Still hoping

Things will have changed

For you.

 

When I know

Better.

 

It wouldn't have matter

If a hundred days

Have past

Since I outed myself

On July 1, 2006

To you.

 

The passage

To our relationship

Is forever closed

Without any chance

Of it changing.

 

Can see

The flashes of fear

In your eyes

Despite your denials

During our last meeting

In the summer of 2012.

 

As if

This memory was

Burnt in

By laser.

 

I know

You wanted a daughter

But couldn't have one.

 

So

Why not accept me

When I shared

My inner most self

With you?

 

Only

My outer appearance

Is changing.

 

Not

Whom I am

Your child

Mom.

Author's Note

Originally written, July 20, 2014.