Looking Outside Of The Shell

Oh I know
It’s so easy
For me
To hide away
Within my small apartment.

Watching the world
Stride away
Letting my daemons
Control my destiny.

Instead of
Fighting back
Taking the risking
At the chance
For more pain
While healing myself.

Something
I have done
For too many years.

Never realizing the damage
I was imposing upon myself
With my self-imposed exile
From humanity.

Even now
I must struggle
Against this destructive urge
On a daily basis
To exist.

Of a fragile and brittle soul
Whom trust has
Become an evil word.

Questioning anybody
Whom comes close to my heart
For their alternative motives
Having been brutally hurt
Once too many times
By those close
To me.

Willing to let other close
So I can begin
The healing process
Which my body and soul
So desperately
Wants and needs.

This is
But a small step
On the long road
Which I walk upon.

Hoping
I will meet others
Whom I can learn
To understand and love
In this sojourn
Of mine.