Untitled (march 23, 2011)

Find myself
Staring into another vial
Of medication
Suppose to work
Wonders upon my body.

Sadly
These miracle pills
Carry a heavy toll
Upon my body
Helping in one area
While attacking
In another.

Forced to undergo
Monthly blood work
Checking the health
Of various organs
And hormonal levels.

Would not want
The patient to die
Now would we.

How I like to lower
The various pills
Which have become
A stable of my meals
And possibly
My life.

But know
That is wishful thinking
Given least two more drugs
Will be added
To my already long list.

One
Possibly both drugs
Once started
Only stops
With my death.

Is life worth this
Knowing
The pills will never end
For me.

Author's Note

For these, who don't already know this, but I am a diabetic, on the verge of starting Insulin injections, while have a long history of suicidal thoughts and attempts. As a result my psychiatrist is about to start me, on an anti-psychotic medication for this. The Insulin injections are coming, whether or not I like this. Scared this anti-psychotic drug will change, who I am as a person and as a writer, to extent, I will not recognize, myself.

Reviews

[Resa]

Hi! As far as the anti psychotic meds , it really depends on which drugs your doctor decides to try you on.
I have a lot of experience on this subject.
I’m currently taking two anti psychotic medications.
They are working well, no negitive side effects and I’m still me!
It took a year of trial and error to reach this point.
Hang in there!
For some of us, this stuff really helps :)

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

I am sorry to hear about this predicament but we have to remain positive and fight our way through for what we want.

[Eile MacIntyre]

I'm sorry for what you have to go through.
This poem speaks volumes. It's grand.