One-sided Love

Lately I've been feeling blue

every second my body aches for you

for your chin resting on my neck

and your sweet wicked caress

These thoughts and ponders are cruel

wild things are creating tides in this pool

a pool of hopeless dreams

my favourite worst killing machine.

Author's Note

*UNFINISHED*
Please let me know what you think, this poem means a lot to me...

Reviews

[KeeD]

The subject of this piece is a whirlpool, from far it looks very enticing but everyone avoids being sucked in. Yet oh good ol' love, yes that ever so familiar emotion so seamlessly invites us in to drown in this one sided story. Dreams will be the death of me, yet for you my love I dare to dream. - great poem, raw, intense and very thought provoking. Keep writing, add more stuff, you've got a talent for this.

[The Shrew]

Thank you very much!! I really appreciate your review!!

[Arjun Singh]

A promising start, jst need to wrk on d length, nd u cd do a fairly commendable job..!
:)

[The Shrew]

Thanks, still working on it!

[binibiningmaya]

Totally brilliant start...

:-)

[The Shrew]

Thank you!!

[binibiningmaya]

welcome Miss :)

[Salem]

i loved it, well done ................

[The Shrew]

thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

[Salem]

you are welcome ....

[Silver]

I like it , you are full with emotions

[The Shrew]

Thank you!!

[Edis Radoncic]

Wow! very creative! i also like how the flow of the rhyming is.

[The Shrew]

Thank you!! :)

[FaeryQueen]

love this poem! makes me think of my dreams!

[The Shrew]

Haha thanks!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice start to the poem. Had possibilities.
Coyote

[The Shrew]

Thank you! Still finishing it off :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[quiet_nomad]

Hi, that's a really good starting platform, I can tell there is more feeling to come, I look forward to it.

[The Shrew]

Thank you!!

[quiet_nomad]

feel free to read my work and comment!