Wonder

Wonder

 

What if we worry about tomorrow?

When we life by the moment.

 

I wonder

 what if

 we do?

 

What if we only sleep in this dream?

When we are awake in this nightmare.

 

I wonder

 what if

 we try?

 

What if we put our music on high volume?

When we speak louder.

 

I wonder

 what if

we see?

 

what if we are responsible for our actions?

when we don’t know what our actions will create.

 

I wonder

What if

you and me?

 

What if we wonder about us

When we are just a memory.

 

I wonder.

 

 

 

Author's Note

if you see mistakes please tell me i just want to improve my writing and my english
feedback ,tips or you view etc is always welcome
just let me know :)

Reviews

[fattycbreezy52]

There are mistakes but I prefer not pointing it out since most of them already would have done that.
You have written well.Or atleast you tried.That is the biggest. Keep writing. This is how you will improve. And then you will point your mistakes out, all by yourself.
good luck:)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

What if we wonder about us
When we are just a memory.
I wonder.

You gave a wonderful message through lines, brilliantly wrote well done!

[luvs2write]

I really liked reading this! Your writing makes your readers think over what they have read. It's really good. Keep writing!!

[Gayatri neman]

its a very nice poem. i really like it and as you have asked to let you know about your mistakes..i guess in the second line..rather than life..live would be more appropriate. let me know what you think about it. nice poem and keep writing it'll surely get better. and i've written a poem do check it out..would love to know your views on it.

[D.T.]

This is pretty good. I noticed a few mistakes like in the second line. I think life is supposed to be live. Anyways, good job!

[Robert]

Very well done, keep up the poetry. I sense it is very special to you.

[ANTO]

I initially thought that this was going to be one of those poems that makes contradictory statements one after the other in an attempt to appear to be cerebral (e.g. I am wet but I am dry, I am the world yet I am nothing...blah blah)
BUT
I was pleasantly surprised that this is a little oasis for contemplation - it has very many facets and levels and the reader can float on the surface of it - like resting on a cloud - or can get involved and go deep and logicise to their hearts content like a monkey puzzle.

Great writing and layout too.

[theshygirl]

thank you so much :)