All Mad Men Die In Winter's Heat

My poem's have only somewhat of an initial meaning; I like for readers to understand the meaning, in whatever way it means to them.

Stale winds echo in the emptiness of the trees;
Frozen embers set the landscape to a sleep.

 

(See the Dead Man)

 

His eyes ablaze with a hallowed plea;
He screams with an echo long faded free,
On display as what the foolish pay for fee.

 

(Enters the Mad Man)

 

Sanity lost when the wind took sun's heat;
His tears set ornament on violet cheeks;
Now drowns his mind, in winter's heart beat.

 

(Dead is the Mad Man).

Author's Note

I'd like your brutally honest review, but also note I wrote this at the age of thirteen.

Reviews

[Aries]

My brutally honest opinion? I wish it could be brutal, as to fulfill your reviewing critique, but I can't seem to find anything that bothers me about this poem. I'm actually quite partial to it. I love winter-themed poems, and poems with heavy use of symbolism, and.. do I spy historical allusion? Possibly, but it's vague enough to simply be metaphor. These are the things I love about it.

However, I wouldn't be a critic if I didn't at least look for something that I could say needed improvement. The semi-colon was used quite a bit more than rarely, and it may just be my opinion but I think that it should be used as a sort of power-punctuation; used rarely, for emphasis. The last stanza enjoyed two of these guys in a row. Other than that, the poem is flawless in my eyes. I like your style and plan on reading more of your work.

~ Aries

[poetic-raven2012]

Sweetness:) i love writers that start young, but age disregarded, this is good. i love the peices in () between the stanzas, and i like how you kept a rhyme scheme w/o it seeming childish. i like this.

[ThereseAline]

Very well-written, especially for being written at 13. Great imagery.