Nothing Comes up Clean

Here's a link to my books on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/Thomas-W.-Case/author/B0CL2RKDGX?ref=sr

They told me to grow

like it was clean,

like something reaching toward the sun

with classical music playing behind it.

But I grew heavier first�"

around the gut,

around the eyes,

around the heart, bent from carrying

too much.

I grew older

in dark bars and bad sleep,

in slow horses and doctor visits,

in mornings that came too fast with

cheap light,

and nights that wouldn’t end.

Nobody talks about that kind of growing�"

the kind that settles in your spine,

that slows your breath,

that makes you pause halfway up the stairs

and call it “thinking.”

They say grow

like it’s always upward,

like it’s clean lines and green leaves.

Ripe fruit all the time.

But I spent years making hard wine from

rotten grapes.

I’ve seen gardens�"

real ones�"

hands in the dirt,

knees shot,

backs bent like questions

nobody answers.

Nothing comes up

without something breaking open.

I am that seed that germinated in bad soil.

I grew out of some things

and into others�"

quieter rooms,

slower mornings,

a different kind of hunger.

Less fire, maybe,

but something steadier�"

a low burn

that doesn’t take the whole world with it.

So if I’ve grown,

it wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t straight.

It reached too far, too often.

It just kept going�"

through the weight,

through the years,

through the dirt.

And maybe that’s it.

Maybe growing

is just staying long enough

to change

without noticing

what it cost.

Author's Note

New long-form poetry reading on YouTube—featuring work from Aluminum Cowboys and a sneak peek from Searching for Nod.

Watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNzeVyF51Og

Books on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Thomas-W.-Case/author/B0CL2RKDGX?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=xsU45&content

Reviews

[SYNN]

Thomas W Case! So much wisdom you have learned from the growing! Making hard wine from rotten grapes...through the weight, through the years, through the dirt.
I think those who say grow like it’s always upward,
like it’s clean lines and green leaves.
Ripe fruit all the time...they don't know what it's like to count the sardines in a can into meals.
Love your writes!

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you so much.

[W. Barrett Munn]

A strong and profound poem. Well done.

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, my friend.

[John the Baptist]

A confessional tone hovers over this one. The speaker seems to attribute growth to determination, and makes no excuses for his past. The last verse is a killer.

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, my friend.

[red93]

Cleanliness is next to Godliness - and this certainly applies with the kind of 'clean' you are talking about here. I have been 'on the wagon' since January 2000, and in that time I estimate to have saved myself at least £100k on the demon alcohol. Exceptional ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Thomas W Case]

Thanks, my friend.

[Soren]

Thomas this is another of your magnificent gritty and common man poems. It has wonderful lines like:
"But I spent years making hard wine from
rotten grapes."
"I am that seed that germinated in bad soil."
Very nicely done Thomas there is this feeling in all of us no matter how we try to cover it with fancy icing.

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, my friend.

[Soren]

You are most welcome Thomas

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Thomas
Look how you turned out!!! A smart, thoughtful, wonderful man.... even though your growing up was less than happy, you saw the light somewhere along the way and you ran with it. Many of us had poor childhoods and growing up was sometimes painful, but we learned from that as well...now you can look back at the "dirt" and smile at what you have accomplished
Warmly, B

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

You are welcome Thomas
Warmly, B😊

[Coyote Poetry]

I do agree my friend.
"Maybe growing
is just staying long enough
to change
without noticing
what it cost."
One day we awake learning. We got what we needed. Outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, my friend.