When I saw You

When I first saw you,

I noticed your dark eyes

I think I fell in love with you

but maybe my heart

was telling me lies

I'm not sure

so can you help me out?

when I saw your face my

jaw dropped to the ground

I can't help it but I must say

that I fell in love with you

in a day.

You're sweet and kind

and yes goth. 

All of the things 

that I ever wanted.

You're gorgeous

and I need you in my life

you're the only one who 

takes my fears away.

I hope you feel the same one day

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I think this was simple and honest and touching...i just have a problem with one line when I saw your face my
jaw dropped to the ground...you could do away with ground...well written.

[Miss Coral]

I think that this is very good, but that it could use some work. The rhythm feels a bit rushed, and the phrases are a bit cliche in some parts, but the piece as an entirety is great. Nice job. :)