Cavalry

Despair cannot win

Cavalry

 

 

 

I have been beaten

 

I have been abused

 

My heart lies in a million pieces

In a million places

Broken so many times it is no more than a fine powder

Victim to the wind

Victimized

It has always been victimized

 

In my naivety I always thought -- no KNEW-- that things would improve

Knew my life would get better

Knew this darkness would end

 

But how can hope live

How can faith live

How can love live

When they are starved?

These things are our sustenance

But do they not need sustained?

 

Yes

 

They do

 

But you don’t realize it until they’re starving

Or they’ve already starved

 

I tried hard to believe

To hope

To survive

 

They say it’s always darkest before dawn

I believed them

But now I know my night is everlasting

There is no dawn for me

 

My spirit was betrayed

By my own life

And now it lies dying

And I know

There no saving it

 

Through this shroud of darkness

I always had hope

That I would be saved

Brought to the light

But I see the truth now

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no cavalry comin’

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I know I promised I wouldn't subject you to any more of my poetry, but what can I say; I'm a liar! haha
Hope you enjoy this, if not just keep in mind that it's way better than the cheesey piece of crap I ended up with on the first go round of the 'no cavalry' idea
Also, I'm not suicidal or depressed (I'm actually somewhat cheerful ^_^ ) but hopefully by the end of the poem you thought I was. A good writer can sympathize/empathize with walks of lifes that are not our own, so that when our characters are in those walks we can step into their shoes and make it seem authentic. Hopefully I did that here!
Honest opinions as always :)

Reviews

[Valette]

Hey- I love your lies!
This was a great poem =D
I really liked the different emphisis you used on the words- I think you used everything but changing the font size- bold, itallic, color!
The red color really put an emphesis on those words, and the red boldface type you used to open and close was very decisive and difinitive.
You did a great job with the cry-me-a-river theme.
(but there's lots of that to be found)
Next, try someone really young; someone full of life, guileless and exhuberant- this technique would be great to explore a variety of personas! I would love to see more of your poems, promises or no.
Great work!!

[NeonWolves]

Beautifuly writen. So much emotion and meaning behind every word. I love the idea of 'no cavalry' and the way you wrote it was just fantastic. Amazing work.

[Muse]

Please don't stop with the poetry, because it was brilliant and visually stunning, nice work!

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is darkness, and it's very nice. It's like your waking up in Vegas with a blistering hangover and you are unsure how it happened or even how you got there. Who's going to save you but yourself?

[Butterfly Ninja :3]

i really loved it and the fact that you 'animated' the words really helped
liked the ending
my Favorite lines were

They say it’s always darkest before down
I believed them
But now I know my night is everlasting
There is no dawn for me

really well done :)

[Lily Mae]

I think you did a great job conveying the emotions around the hopelessness. And by saying in the end that you can see the truth now.. it could go two ways..the truth that despair offers or the truth that hope does exist.. it lets your reader interpret it for themselves.. Great write...xx

[Ruth]

No apology! That is what art is for...let it speak love! This is brilliantly tense!
That truth can be harsh but needed for us to move forward....great structure and use of words, I like this a lot xx

[Celeste]

Like everyone else said, don't apologize for writing poetry! You're a really good writer, and you really did well in this poem. I enjoyed reading this piece. Great job!

Just keep writing. :)

[Enigma]

I like being "subjected" to your poetry, hahaha. :)

And wow, this piece really made me believe that you are feeling all sad. But then, its excellant that you can make a reader believe something like that. You nailed it, my friend. :D

Very well written.