It Just Ain't Right (senryu)

One life, tormented

There is no future; no hope

Her children are gone

Author's Note

For Kim Love's competition

I had decided not to join, but then the Fates put this piece into my head, must've been a sign

My dear friend Truman S. Booth has informed me that because this does not deal with nature it is not a Haiku but a Senryu. Thank you Truman :)

Reviews

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I can't make up my mind is this sad because she lost her children to the streets they where victims of violence? Or is it sad because they have moved on with their life and she just feels like nothing without them? Either way my friend it's sad, make me want to cry for her... :(

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

wow, such feeling in such a small lil write, a Senryu, such power too, really great.

[The Analog Kid]

Always nice to throw in a senryu. Leaves you wondering if her children died in a fire....

[Jo]

Powerful.

[TM "Ree" Tate]

short and powerful

[Calypso]

Great write. You hardly think about mother who've lost children.

[Light and ashes]

This poem says alot in not alot of words. But it is heart breaking none the less. Awesome :]

[Decdreams87]

very good. I liked this !

[Daisy Morgy]

really nice and simple but with a powerful message x inspired write

[DVampire]

sounds really sad

[Maggie]

So true, I feel this straight through my heart!