Silence.

My breathing gets shallow, it seems to be challenging me

My eyes tear up and I find it hard to concentrate on anything

In and Out. One breath, then another.

My heart flutters, my chest tries to cave in.

There's no warning. There's seemingly no cause.

I know I'm not dying, but I'm not sure that's relieving.

I start to cry. Breathing is harder than before. I vomit.

The thoughts that follow say it's my fault.

The flashbacks hurt, fill me with guilt.

But the possibilities are more painful.

I know what could happen. And I know I have no control.

My life could have been different. I ask God why.

He supplied me with my regret. My sorrow.

My actions are a f**k you to the mythical man upstairs.

My sobs rip through my panic. My silent cries for help

Are getting more intense with each and every breakdown.

I know that I'm alone. And if I wasn't, I would burden no one.

For that is how I got to where I am.

Barely breathing.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"For that is how I got to where I am.
Barely breathing."
Reading this made me realize that is my current situation as well.. This carries a certain depth which most of us can relate to. Nicely put..

[Mr. Lopez]

Whoa,that was intense. I found myself both holding my breath and rooting for you at the same time. This a testament to the power of words and your gift to wield them. Well done.

[Cierra]

Wow, thank you so much. That really means a lot to me

[B J Hughes]

I love the construction of your poem, like a post-modern sedoka, of 4-3-4-3-5 lines. But the flow, setting up the action with the 4 lines and then in the next 3 providing the "back story" to the action. And then the crescendo of the last 5 lines, an exclamation mark to your plight.
And excellent and darkly entertaining pen! Deffo 100/100!

[Cierra]

Thank you so much! I'm happy to know that you liked it (:

[Willard Wells]

A very negative write of a painful life. Silence does seem to allow the mind to either be calm or as this sounds, overthink. Lots of energy within this work with good flow.