A Million Miles

Remebering Ramsey on a lonely evening.

 

A million miles from me

About as far away as I can be

Shutting down memories

That play vividly

Asking me to hold them once more

I slam the door

And run

Missing you is no fun

I have conversations with the gun

Shutting down my soul

Looking for a way to go

Up the road

To visit you

Seems so far

And I feel the tearing heart

Stop

Watching death freeze me

Breathing don't come easy

And I pack up to leave me

Standing alone

Some more

Of no more

Reminds me of a sad love song

I dance to you are gone

And I don't want to think any more

Shutting doors so hard

My wrists are sore

Bleeding lungs seeping through pen

Coughing up blood while I grin

Standing on heart break's ledge

As I rehearse jumping head first

Into the abyss

Of remembrance

Free falling back into your arms

A million miles from last words said

Your kisses anoint my forehead

Twisted thoughts are listening

As my broken heart speaks

Of how you are missing

And damn wishing on "a” star

I lift up whole constellations

Trying to get to where you are

Mapping a celestial path

Hoping to find my way back

To love in your eyes

And I realize

I am letting my mind

Get ahead of God' time

So I place dark thoughts on a shelf

And walk away from self

Not looking back to see me

Standing alone empty

Catching tired feelings

And breathing hurts my ribs

Taking air in to live

Vowing to forget again

I place my pen in my soul

Let this hurt flow

And poison thoughts

Try to make a home

As I face tomorrow

Whether I want to or not

I numb my inner being

To everything

Standing on the ledge

Looking over the edge

Of remembering

A million miles from me

About as far away as I can be

But not far enough