Preface

Meet Jade.

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I don't think it's a common thought among people; that one of their own could turn against them and wreak havoc in their beloved home. That may be why it hurts so much when it does happen. The unthinkable.

 

Really, what does that even mean?

 

Small towns are put in danger by their own naivety- at least, that's what I've come to believe. Living in a town that could barely be called a speck on the map of Ohio, I was surrounded by people who allowed me to think that the world is a safe place which is a thought that I had always despised. I was partial to the thrill of fear for some odd reason which hasn't ever really been explained. That's fine with me.

 

Which is why I am in shock as of right now; here in the tiny courtroom with everyone's eyes watching my every move, clinging to my every word, waiting for me to say something shocking.

 

I hate the lawyer with a burning passion. He has beady eyes and a suit that had a type of class some people in this town couldn't even find in the dictionary. I don't hate him for his superficial qualities, though it would be fairly easy to, I hate him because he likes mind games and he's fairly intelligent about it. Stupid lawyer.

 

“Miss Lutrick, would you say that you empathize with the defendant?”

 

I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Reviews

[Mully]

I really liked this. Especially the line "Small towns are put in danger by their own naivety", pretty accurate to be honest. Plus I know the feeling of being the only one in the room to understand just how stupid everyone else is acting.

Not due to lack of intelligence but more social etiquette. Difficult to put in words, Im having difficulty at the moment :P

But you managed to portray that feeling quite weel. Kudos.

[Forist.johnston]

I liked the court room idea and I was caught up in the story even in the first sentence. Kudos to you, can't wait to read Chapter 1. =]

[LoveLikeThis]

I like it a lot. Perhaps make it more clear that you are thinking...if that makes any sense. Good Luck.
~LoveLikeThis

[Philip Spires]

Dear Kate

I think this is a very good prelude. It makes me want to read on. You have set a scene for some big events through suggestion, which I surmise is what you wanted.

I would change the opening by making the thought an active process for the reader - i.e. Ir's not a common thought.... That's why it hurts so much when it happens.

Also - Small towns are endangered/threatened by their naivety

... and ... I was surrounded by people who convinced me that the world is a safe place, an idea I had always despised.

I particularly liked the reference to the dictionary.

Hope this helps.

Philip Spires